Learning Cantoshitese

My dear readers,

I know most of you are concerned that I am showing signs of depression being stuck in cantoshithole and some of you even encourage me to just move back home (thanks for missing me hee hee)

Some of you asked me 'Why are you so resistant? Just learn Cantonese lah!"

To set the record straight - let me put it to you this way. Who says I am NOT 'learning' Cantonese? Take this into consideration, I spent TWENTY FUCKING FIVE years NOT speaking or knowing the dialect and then suddenly in a space of 9 months, I am expected to be a PRO? Cut me some fucking slack guys, I am partly resistant coz I hate the pressure of being EXPECTED to know it now coz I live here. "How's your Cantonese now?" "FUCKED UP that's how!"

I hate the sound, the intonations, how they mutilate Chinese words to make them Cantonese and the dialect on the whole. BUT I realise I need to learn to speak it coz now that I live in this shithole when sometimes Mandarin nor English would get me by.

My lovely sister just said "I think you will come back as a lunatic. You sound very pathetic in your blog. Honestly, I WILL JUST DIE FROM BOREDOM AND SELF PITY THERE. No bf, no Logan, nobody speaking the same language as you". You know what, this is just a mild toned down version of how I truly feel about my situation. As I said, I don't hate the place, I hate the circumstances I am in.

How much more of this can I take? I don't know. There are days when I just deal with it and it doesn't bother me and there are days when I just want to pack it all in and go home. The latter is becoming more common these days. But I shall not give up so soon! I also want to see how much longer I can take. My endurance has been taken to a whole new level.